Stuck in a grey reality
I have no energy, no time, no desire for anything, yet I so desperately need something
I need to feel but what I need to feel needs to be more than this
Smoking, drinking, music, escape, nothing works
I begin to reject this stale existence, far more captivated by my own mind
Thoughts, memories, desires, dreams, hopes, delusions. It is better here
But it is not enough. I chase the high, feet firmly still on the ground
The feeling I desire the most, the me I want to become again, it’s all so close and yet just out of reach
Although, I barely even care
aswiftrecovery 